A Guy Who Will Always Remain Single

What I Want In A Wife:

* She will always be beautiful and cheerful.
* She could marry a movie star, but wants only me.
* She will never be sick--just allergic to jewelry and fur coats.
* She will be an expert in cooking, cleaning house, fixing the car or TV, painting the house, and keeping quiet.
* Her favorite hobbies will be mowing the lawn and shoveling snow.
* She will hate charge cards.
* Her favorite expression will be, "What can I do for you, dear?"