Actual T-Shirt Slogans
"Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up"
"That's It! I'm Calling Grandma!" (seen on an 8 year old)
"Rehab Is for Quitters."
"My Dog Can Lick Anyone."
"I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts - Do You Want Fries With That?"
"Party - My Crib - Two A.M." (on a baby-size shirt)
"Finally 21, and Legally Able to Do Everything I've Been Doing Since I Was 15."
"West Virginia: One Million People, and 15 last names."
"I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN AND I'VE GOT A GUN."
"STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!"
"They call it 'PMS' because 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken."
"He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead."
"Time's fun when you're having flies.......Kermit the Frog."
"POLICE STATION TOILET STOLEN-Cops have nothing to go on."
"Heck Is Where People Go Who Don't Believe In Gosh."
"The Meek shall inherit the earth....after we're through with it."
"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana."
"HAM AND EGGS - A day's work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig."
"The trouble with life is there's no background music."
"If There Is No God, Who Pops Up The Next Kleenex?"
"Suicidal Twin Kills Sister By Mistake!"
"NyQuil - The stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine."
"Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research."
"My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn't."