The Testimony that Jesus gave me.
I was trapped in a Homosexual lifestyle; well I was a success as far as the World could tell a good job, nice home, and a Lexus! Does it get better Than that? Oh yes, and a different guy every Saturday Night, That all Changed in the fall of 1995, let me tell you just what happened.
I noticed a real cute guy who lived down the street, He drove a Small truck with a Harvest Crusade bumper sticker, Now I had been a Mormon for 25 years, although not active all those years, I knew about Harvest Christian Fellowship, and Pastor Greg Laurie, it was part of the Calvary Chapel. And every year at the Anaheim Stadium they had a "Crusade " and a lot of long haired people who had nothing else to live For gave their lives to Jesus, Well I thought if that is what this guy Believed, then I could " convert " him into being a Homosexual real easy. I even sent him a note, although I didn't sign it. No matter, I was Going to somehow meet him and he would like me. Since he was a " Born Again Christian " I had better get to know something about it. I had a C-Band Satellite dish, and got " Z " music channel, Christian Music MTV Style network. I bought some CD's Michael Card, Wayne Watson, and Gary Chapman, and Maranatha Music one too.
An SDA friend invited me to a Michael Card Concert at Loma Linda Campus Church, in Oct. 1995. Also I Invited my Neighbors over for Thanksgiving Dinner. Something just kept drawing me to " Harvest Dude " as I had nick Named him, Well Thanksgiving came, and I found out " Harvest Dude's " Name was Joe, but he would not be able to make it, He was single, and going to his parents for dinner, but he did come over and thanked me for inviting him. But the neighbor, who lived next door to Joe, Ruben came over. Ruben's wife had left him, and he had no place to go for dinner. Also, Terry, the lady across the street from me who was divorced, came over, Ruben was born again, and went to Harvest, Terry was not attending any church at the time, so Ruben invited Terry and I to Harvest. We had a great dinner, and agreed that the following Sunday, Terry, Joe, (He Found out later) Ruben and I would all attend Church. Well it was a shock! A live band on stage, (not in your wildest dreams in the Mormon Church) and everyone was dressed like they were Going to the beach! And Pastor Greg was a bald headed 40 year old! , Not at all like I had heard, a longhaired hippie freak. Well the " Praise Music" was loud and not " The old rugged cross " Songs like "Lord, I Lift your name on high " " Awesome God " and " I love your Grace."
Also The people seemed to be singing to God, not to just sing out loud. Pastor Greg read from the Bible, not just one verse, but a whole Chapter! And then explained it in modern terms, and even made me laugh! The meeting had started at 6 p.m. and it was now 8 p.m. Two hours at Church? Pastor Greg did an altar call and about 50 or 60 people went Forward. I remember thinking I don't need to go I was a Mormon, and knew All about Jesus.
The next week was " Hell " the water heater blew up at 2 a.m. things at my job started looking real bad, and the Lexus was giving me some trouble, also I had just broke up with a guy, and as I drove the car into the garage, I thought about letting the door close behind me and turning the radio on and just let the exhaust build up in the garage and I would just drift off to sleep forever. But something stopped me.
I went to church the following Sunday and it was about the same, but this time I almost got up at the altar call, but I said that was stupid, I already knew the Lord. Or so I thought. The week went along fine, Christmas was going to be on Monday, and it was now Saturday. I was getting out of the shower, when all of a sudden I started to cry, and I don't mean a little! Sobs and a feeling of doom came over me. I went to my bedroom and knelt by the side of the bed, I started to pray like I'd never had before, I told God that I was sorry, that I knew the life I was living was wrong, I now had no tears left, just heavy sobs, and my side hurt I never felt so bad in my whole life, then inside my mind came these words " My Son, I love you, I Forgive you." WOW! I can't tell you the joy and love that I felt, and when I got up from that prayer I had lost all my desire to sin. I no longer had a lust for men, Praise God. He had removed all that from me, and the next day was Christmas Eve, and at 9 P.M at a Christmas Eve service at Harvest Christian Fellowship I gave my life publicly over to Jesus Christ.
I latter told Ruben, and Joe about the letters I had sent, Joe said "Praise the Lord, I have a new brother in Christ " Ruben also praised God. And said, " It doesn't matter anymore." No matter what the sin, the answer is Jesus Christ. Do you know Him? Do you know that if you died today where you would be? Romans 3:10 tells us " As it is written: "There is none righteous, no, not one." Also in Romans Godís Word tells us "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God," Therefore, just as through one man sin entered the world, and death through sin, and thus death spread to all men, because all sinnedó", We can see by reading Godís Word, that no man can stand in his own righteousness and that the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. Because God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. The inspired Word of God also tells us in Romans 10:13 for "whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved." Have you called on the name of the Lord? Jesus tells us in Mark 16:16". But he who does not believe will be condemned. "There is a place called hell, it is real. The Bible speaks of it as a place of eternal torment. Eternally apart from God. Again I ask you if you died today where would you go? Heaven with God, or hell apart from God Forever?
Godís Word tells us " that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. (Romans 10:9,10). Would you like to have all your sins forgiven, and know today that You are a child of God? You can. Just say this prayer, and really mean it. " Lord Jesus, I confess I am a sinner, I now turn from my sins, and asked you to forgive me, to come into my life. Thank-you for dying for me, Thank-you for forgiving me. In Jesus name Amen."
If you just said that prayer, and really meant it, Jesus Christ has just entered your life. Welcome to the Family of God! In John Chapter 1 verse 12 and 13 it says, "But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name: who were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God." In John Chapter 3 verse 3 Jesus said, "Most assuredly, I say to you, unless one is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God. " If you said that prayer you are born again, with a spirit, and you would be led by the Spirit, the Holy Spirit, How? By reading and learning the Word of God, the Bible, and fellowshipping with true believers in Jesus Christ. In the Book of Acts it tells about the early Church and everything that is taught there will show the signs of good healthy church.
UPDATE: Jan 2002: Well, after asking Jesus into my heart in Dec. 1995, The Lord richly blessed me! And for One full year all of the homosexual thoughts and desires were gone, but then, one day when I was seated in church, singing a worship song, someone in a tank top and shorts walked down the isle to find a seat, and thoughts so perverse entered my mind with such force, that I really had to turn my head to see if the people seated on either side of me heard my thoughts! Well, I thought, Iíd lost my salvation, here, I had told everyone that Iíd been delivered from homosexuality, now a year later, I was starting to have those old thoughts and desires return! Who could I go to? I thought all my new Christian friends would run away from me now!
Well, as you know, our Lord is so faithful, and He placed godly men in my path, and well, they had never struggled with homosexuality, they were able to reassure me that I was still ďsavedĒ and that I needed to take up my cross daily and follow Him!
So, went 1997 to 1999, In Jan of 2000, one of the Counselors at my church, asked if I would be interested in being used by the Lord to start up an ex gay ministry, so started the Rainbow Cross Ministry, we started a phone prayer team, and an email prayer team, then, a bible study six months later. The Lord was faithful to bring along side me a godly brother, who helps me and encourages me, and who has also come out of the homosexual life.
I donít know if I will ever be totally free from the thoughts and temptations of homosexuality, I pray, and see the Lordís guiding hand in my life. I agree with God that it is sin. And the desire is getting less, and less. But this I know, I will never be ashamed of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and what is amazing, is that Jesus Christ is not ashamed of me! I encourage all believers to be open and honest with their struggles.
ĒGod resist the proud, but He gives grace to the humble.Ē James 4:6
God bless you as you follow Him, if you need any help or have any questions please let me know